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They walk among us and many work retail.

====================

A friend of mine bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: “Free to good home. You want it, you take it.” For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. My friend decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: “Fridge for sale $50.” The next day someone stole it.

They walk among us.

====================

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, “Look at that dead bird!” Someone looked up at the sky and said, “Where?”

They walk among us!

====================

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, “Does the sun rise in the north?” When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, “Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff.”

They Walk Among Us!!

====================

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, “The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.” He responded, “Is that Eastern or Pacific time?” Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, “Uh, Pacific.”

They Walk Among Us!

====================

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but “didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving.”

They Walk Among Us!

====================

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us!

====================

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, “Wouldn’t the chain rip out every time she turned her head?” I explained that a person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

They Walk Among Us!

====================

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. “Now,” she asked me, “has your plane arrived yet?”

They Walk Among Us!

====================

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. “Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.”

Yep, They Walk Among Us!

====================

They walk among us, AND they reproduce!
lmao.. tube r u serious? haha

A: A friend of mine held on to a check for $500.00 for nearly a year. Then she wanted to deposit it in the bank. I noticed it said “void after 180 days” (6 months). When I mentioned that the check had expired, she tore it up before I could stop her. I told her if she had just kept the check she could have gotten the issuer to reissue it. Then I asked her why she waited so long. She said she wanted to wait until she needed the money. I asked her “Well, do you know how long 180 days is?”

She said “Uh, a week?”

She still walks among us.
.

Q: What do you think about these stories. Some are common, others are not?
I walked into a Blimpie’s with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a
sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard
that said “buy one-get one free”. “They’re already buy-one-get-one-free”,
she said, “So I guess they’re both free”. She handed me my free sandwiches
and I walked out the door. They walk among us and many work retail.

A friend of mine bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: “Free to
good home. You want it, you take it.” For three days the fridge sat there
without even one person looking twice at it. My friend decided that people
were too untrusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he
changed the sign to read: “Fridge for sale $50.” The next day someone stole
it. They walk among us.

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them
shouted, “Look at that dead bird!” Someone looked up at the sky and said,
“Where?” They walk among us!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a
call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I
told him, “The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.” He
responded, “Is that Eastern or Pacific time?”
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, “Uh, Pacific.” They Walk Among Us!

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she
got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but
“didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving.” They Walk
Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a
seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk. They Walk Among
Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. They Walk Among Us!

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, “Wouldn’t the chain rip
out every time she turned her head?” I explained that a person’s nose and
ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.
They Walk Among Us!

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed
up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. “Now,” she asked me, “has your plane
arrived yet?” They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small
pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like
it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before
responding. “Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to
eat 6 pieces.” Yep, They Walk Among Us!

They walk among us, AND they reproduce!

A: thats so true and i guess u walked past me today

Q: i found these very amusing so i had to share!?
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: ‘Free to good home. You want it, you take it.’ For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.
It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’

The next day someone stole it!

***They walk amongst us!***
—————————————————————————–

* One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted….’Look at that dead bird!’ Someone looked up at the sky and said…’where?’

***They walk among us!!***
—————————————————————————–

While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’ When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, ‘Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff’

***They Walk Among Us!!***
———————————————————————————

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving’.

***They Walk Among Us!!!!***
——————————————————————————–

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it’s designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk.

***They Walk Among Us!!!!!***
———————————————————————————-

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, ‘Wouldn’t the chain rip out every time she turned her head?’ I had to explain that a person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned…

***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! ***
——————————————————————————-

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your plane arrived yet?’…
(I work with professionals like this.)

***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!***
——————————————————————————-

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

***Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!

Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce !!!!

A: Those were very funny =) It makes them so much better because of the fact that there are people like that!

Q: have you seen this?
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: ‘Free
to good home. You want it, you take it.’ For three days the fridge sat
there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided
that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be
true, so he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’ The next
day someone stole it.

Caution… They Walk Among Us!

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
shouted….’Look at that dead bird!’ Someone looked up at the sky and
said…’where???’

They Walk among us!!

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn
she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a
convertible, but ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was
moving’.

They Walk Among Us!!!!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it’s designed to cut through
a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk…

They Walk Among Us!!!!!

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, ‘Wouldn’t the chain
rip out every time she turned her head?’ I had to explain that a
person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way
the head is turned…

They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your
plane arrived yet?’…

They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza
to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like
it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before
responding. ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough
to eat 6 pieces.

Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!

And yes … sadly…not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!

A: If this is true, it’s really scary to think that such people exist.

Q: This is true the names have been changed to protect the guilty. has anything like this ever happened to you?
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: ‘Free
to good home. You want it, you take it.’ For three days the fridge sat
there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided
that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be
true, so he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’ The next
day someone stole it.

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
shouted….’Look at that dead bird!’ Someone looked up at the sky and
said…’where???’

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn
she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a
convertible, but ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was
moving’.

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it’s designed to cut through
a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk…

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, ‘Wouldn’t the chain
rip out every time she turned her head?’ I had to explain that a
person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way
the head is turned…

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your
plane arrived yet?’…

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza
to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like
it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before
responding. ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough
to eat 6 pieces.

And yes … sadly…its all true

A: ive heared most of them befor.

and yes the sign free to collector does work.

we recently got a new 3 piece suite and sat the old one on our drive saying free to collector it was there about 3 days and i remembered hearing the story of one being stolen so we changed it to for sale £40 and it got took that afternoon when we went out.

Q: What do you think of these?
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.
“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.
“Darn, he recognized me,” she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. “I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?”
“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

A blonde and a brunette jump off a cliff at the same time. Which one will hit the bottom first?
The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions.

Two blondes were shopping at the mall. When they were done, they went out to their car, which happened to be an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while.
Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock. The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded,
“HURRY, HURRY, IT’S GOING TO RAIN AND WE LEFT THE TOP DOWN!”

Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, “Those must be deer tracks!”
The second blonde said, “No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!” The third blondie said, “No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!”
They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you’re doing? It’s things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I’d come out there and kick your butt!”

A: These jokes are not stupid, they are funny and true. Asminah from another country asked “what’s wrong with blonde hair?” Well it’s not just blonde hair. It’s this lame, princess ego, idiotic pop culture that brainwashes girls to be like Britney, Lohan, or Paris. Most of these Hollywood stars are so far from living reality because they have so much $$ and have no idea what it’s like to struggle. They are full of themselves and their ridiculous fashions. Girls expect to be treated like princesses from these sissy pop icons. Most girls are like the stupid blondes these days regardless of hair color. They can’t enjoy a movie, the beautiful views and atmosphere of the beach or any outdoor setting, eating out, or any event without their stupid big sunglasses and rapid fire texting. They spend hours updating their anti-social network profiles like Myspace and Facebook, posting silly pictures and showing off to the world how special their lives are so they can feed their huge egos. They can’t talk to people face to face, they lack real social skills and even as they grow older they live chaotic selfish lives because they never grow into WOMEN. Girls from other countries should not let our idiotic trends poison there intelligence.

Q: is this funny or the truth They Walk Among Us and They Vote!?
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard
and hung a sign on it saying: “Free to good home.
You want it, you take it.”
For three days the fridge sat there without even one
person looking twice at it.
He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of
this deal.
It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to
read:
“Fridge for sale $50.”
The next day someone stole it. Caution…
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote! *

===================
One day I was walking down the beach with
some friends when someone shouted….
“Look at that dead bird!”
Someone looked up at the sky and said…
“Where???”
*They Walk among us and they Vote!!*

===================
While looking at a house, my brother asked the
real estate agent which direction was north because,
he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every
morning.
She asked, “Does the sun rise in the north?”
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east,
and has for sometime.
She shook her head and said,
“Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff.”

*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!*

===================
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.
One day I got a call from an individual who asked
what hours the call center was open. I told him,
“The number you dialed is open
24 hours a day, 7 days a week.”
He responded,
“Is that Eastern or Pacific time?”
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, “Uh, Pacific” .
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!*

===================
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in the cafeteria,
when we overheard one of the administrative assistants
talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to
the shore.
She drove down in a convertible, but
“didn’t think she’d get sunburned because
the car was moving”.

*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!*

===================
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
it’s designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets
trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk…
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!*

===================
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed
that the cases were discounted 10%.
Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.
The cashier multiplied 2 times 10%
and gave us a 20% discount on both….
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!!*

A: lol! great deal on last one!!

Q: Last minute ha, ha’s anyone…?
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge,
he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: “Free to good
home. You want it, you take it.” For three days the fridge sat there
without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that
people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so
he changed the sign to read: “Fridge for sale; $50.” The next day someone
stole it.
===================================================================

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
shouted….”Look at that dead bird!” Someone looked up at the sky and
said…”where???”
===================================================================

While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking
him up every morning. She asked, “Does the sun rise in the north?” When my
brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime,
she shook her head and said, “Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff.”
===================================================================

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn
she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a
convertible, but “didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was
moving”.
==================================================================

I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half kilogram
sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to
make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the
half-kg.
==================================================================

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it’s designed to cut through a
seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the boot…
==================================================================

My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount….
==================================================================

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, “Wouldn’t the chain rip
out every time she turned her head?” I had to explain that a person’s nose
and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is
turned…
=================================================================

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional
and I was in good hands. “Now,” she asked me, “Has your plane arrived
yet?”…
=================================================================

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza
to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it
cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before
responding. “Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to
eat 6 pieces.
=================================================================

Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!
Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!

A: They also vote.
Be afraid, be very afraid!

Q: this is true the names have been changed to protect the guilty. has anything like this ever happened to you?
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: ‘Free
to good home. You want it, you take it.’ For three days the fridge sat
there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided
that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be
true, so he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’ The next
day someone stole it.

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
shouted….’Look at that dead bird!’ Someone looked up at the sky and
said…’where???’

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn
she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a
convertible, but ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was
moving’.

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it’s designed to cut through
a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk…

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, ‘Wouldn’t the chain
rip out every time she turned her head?’ I had to explain that a
person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way
the head is turned…

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your
plane arrived yet?’…

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza
to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like
it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before
responding. ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough
to eat 6 pieces.

And yes … sadly…its all true
thats a good one anne im aussie a past girlfriend from england use to claim that england was bigger than Austrlalia

A: Cool? My friend once asked me what continent Australia was on.

Q: Did you know we had some crazy stupid people that walk among us?
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: ‘Free to good home. You want it, you take it.’ For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.
It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’

The next day someone stole it!

***They walk amongst us!***
—————————————————————————–

*One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted….’Look at that dead bird!’ Someone looked up at the sky and said…’where?’

***They walk among us!!***
—————————————————————————–

While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’ When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, ‘Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff’

***They Walk Among Us!!***
———————————————————————————

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving’.

***They Walk Among Us!!!!***
——————————————————————————–

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it’s designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk.

***They Walk Among Us!!!!!***
———————————————————————————-

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, ‘Wouldn’t the chain rip out every time she turned her head?’ I had to explain that a person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned…

***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! ***
——————————————————————————-

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your plane arrived yet?’…
(I work with professionals like this..)

***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!***
——————————————————————————-

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

***Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!

A: thanks for the laughs. i needed something to cheer me up (:

Q: Strange things people say or do?
*Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge,he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: ‘Free to good home. You want it, you take it.’ For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’ The next day someone stole it.*

*One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted….’Look at that dead bird!’ Someone looked up at the sky and said…’where???’*

While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’ When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, ‘Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff.’ *

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving’.*

I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the 1/2 kilogram sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin.Not wanting to make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the 1/2kg.*

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it’s designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the boot…*

My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount…. *

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, ‘Wouldn’t the chain rip out every time she turned her head?’ I had to explain that a person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned…*

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your plane arrived yet?’…*

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding.’Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.*

A: A Blonde phones the fire brigade and says
“I need you here quick my house is on fire”
Fireman “Sure thing lady, how do we get there”.
Blonde “Ooooowh in the big red truck of course”.

Q: Who wants to read more about “They Walk Among Us!!?
They Walk Among Us!
—————————————————————–

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
sign on it saying: ‘Free to good home. You want it, you take it.’
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’

The next day someone stole it!

They walk amongst us!
—————————————————————————–

During a power cut in the village, when everything blacked out. A neighbour was heard to say, “It can’t be a power cut, the cars still have their lights on!”

They walk amongst us!

————————————————————————–

One day I was walking down the beach with
some friends when someone shouted….
‘Look at that dead bird!’
Someone looked up at the sky and said…’where?’

They walk among us!

—————————————————————————–
While looking at a house, my brother asked the
estate agent which direction was north because
he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
and has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
‘Oh, I don’t keep up with all that stuff….’

They Walk Among Us!
———————————————————————————
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned
because the car was moving’..

They Walk Among Us!
——————————————————————————–
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car boot.

They Walk Among Us!
———————————————————————————-
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman
with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
My friend said, ‘Ouch! The chain must rip
out every time she turns her head!”
I had to explain that a person’s nose and ear
remain the same distance apart no
matter which way the head is turned….

They Walk Among Us !
——————————————————————————-
I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and.
went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me,
‘Has your plane arrived yet?’…
(I work with professionals like this.)

They Walk Among Us!
——————————————————————————-
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and
the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6.. He thought about it for some time
then said ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among Us!

And last, but not least:

Dumb as a box of Rocks

A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS, TRUE STORY:

A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

‘Would you mind telling me, Doctor,’ she asked, ‘how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?’

‘Nothing is easier,’ he replied. ‘You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.’

‘What sort of question?’ asked Pelosi.

Well, you might ask, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?”

Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, ‘You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.’

Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they vote and their vote equals ours and they also reproduce!

A: I like them.
I was flying to Spain when I asked the flight attendant if I could pop out on to the balcony for a quick smoke and she said;
“Sorry not while the fasten seat belt light is on!

They also fly among us!

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